The volunteer victim: learning to deal with people who decide to move on from you.


Loyalty and how to deal with people who decide to move on from you

There’s no denying losing a relationship stings. When it’s one that you put your heart and effort into professionally and personally, it hurts even more. Sometimes the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but as a coach or a leader, you must be willing to let people make the decisions they feel are best for them, even if it is to leave you. On this week’s episode, I discuss what it means to have loyalty tested and ultimately severed. I truly believe that as a leader, the only way to approach your work is to give your absolute best with love in your heart. But there have been times where, ultimately, someone has decided to move on from me, and that’s okay.

You’ll hear my thoughts on how to deal with the sting of feeling betrayed, why there’s no point in holding grudges, what the one thing I see when I’m evaluating an athlete, and how you can prepare yourself to accept the blow of having loyalty tested. It’s not a fun or glamorous part of being a coach or leader, but it is an inevitable one. In the long run, everyone goes through this kind of conversation from one side or the other. This week’s show will get you ready for when that conversation happens for you and why the gut punch feeling may never go away but can make you a better leader.


  • All you can do as a leader is constantly give your absolute best.

  • You must have love in your heart to be the best coach you can be. Your messages will ring truer if there’s love behind them.

  • It is going to sting if the effort and appreciation isn’t paid back to you, especially from someone you have helped grow exponentially in their professional or personal life.

  • If you’re a good leader, that disappointment of being cast aside will never go away. But it can help you in the future.

  • If you’re going to demand the best out of people, things can get contentious at times. Sometimes people will fold under that pressure and the relationship may change.

  • Remind your employees about the process of helping them and that you both want to achieve the ultimate goal, whatever that may be.

  • You must be able to accept if someone decides they don’t want you to lead them anymore. If you gave it your best, you’ll be able to handle a breakup like that better.

  • Don’t fight to keep someone who doesn’t want to be there. Don’t chase talent.

  • There isn’t enough time to hold grudges. Accept a decision and move on.